Marriage and Divorce

Hurtful words in marriage

"Language is divine. Some may know this but do not realize its implications in their daily family life. Love at home starts with a loving language. This need is so important that, without loving words, some become mentally unbalanced, others emotionally disturbed, and some may even die. No society can survive after its family life has deteriorated, and this deterioration has always started with one word. [Didier, "Language," 26]

And it is always a hurtful word.

Studies of couples who stay married for 30 or more years show that they are kind to each other. Their criticisms, when they come, are couched as exceptions in a nest of praise and love. I did a Google search on the term lasting marriage. The results? There were over a quarter of a million entries. I did not tally all the suggestions. I did page through the first 50 or so. The overriding theme was to be loving, resolve conflict, and be respectful of each other.

Elder Lynn G. Robbins wrote of Satan's efforts to destroy families:

He damages and often destroys families within the walls of their own homes. His strategy is to stir up anger between family members. Satan is the "father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another" (3 Ne. 11:29; emphasis added). The verb stir sounds like a recipe for disaster: Put tempers on medium heat, stir in a few choice words, and bring to a boil; continue stirring until thick; cool off; let feelings chill for several days; serve cold; lots of leftovers." ["Agency and Anger," Ensign, May 1998, 80; emphasis in original]

-Words of Hate, Words of Love
CONSTANCE K. LUNDBERG

Growth—A Process for Two

“Spiritual growth comes by solving problems together—not by running from them. Today’s inordinate emphasis on individualism brings egotism and separation. Two individuals becoming ‘one flesh’ is still the Lord’s standard. (See Gen. 2:24.)

“The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other. The goal of marriage is unity and oneness, as well as self-development. Paradoxically, the more we serve one another, the greater is our spiritual and emotional growth.”

President Ezra Taft Benson (1899–1994),

“Salvation—a Family Affair,” Ensign, July 1992, 4.

It's A Work in Progress

.. for ALL of us:

http://lds.about.com/od/1/tp/marriagearticle.htm

"A false notion about marriage is a too-common belief in the fairy tale phrase, 'They married and lived happily ever after.' To achieve marital happiness, it is necessary that couples work together to overcome difficulties and temptations, and they must show a willingness to meet the other challenges that will always be a part of their married life together"

-Dale F. Pearson ("Love Conquers All'... And Other Fanciful Notions," Ensign, Jun 1973, 14).